I once would have felt sad, detached, despirited, and angry.
I might have wailed, sulked, thrown a tantrum, and isolated myself..

but..

Do NOT forget to love people, pleaded WA.

Do NOT become cynical, he warned.

"mph..too late", she (secretly) smirked.

Inside, a part of her was dying. Her wallowing wall of self-pity was rebuilding; deflecting any forms of encouragement away. Slowly, she was regressing back to her former antagonist self. Never smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, thin enough, tall enough...nothing was ever good enough for the 'old' girl. To think that she let herself get fat, slow, irresponsible, and weak. She couldn't stand not being in control of her appearance. Aesthetics used to be such a huge part of her life and now, she couldn't even uphold a respectable 'front'.

No time to sleep. Too much to do and so little time.

"Rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead," --Doctor Who.

She forgot about God. Her choices were pushing her further away from God...and if you made enough decisions that were to take you away from God, you would have eventually stepped so far away from who you were supposed to be that you might not recognize yourself or like who you've become.

Relationships.

She always seemed to 'fail' at building lasting relationships. Somewhere along the way, she'd get scared and back-off. It was an instinctive behaviour of hers to shut-down when people got too close. Especially men. She'd been hurt too many times and heard it all before. Sick of excuses, prevention sounded better than the cure.

Sometimes, we all just need to escape.
People, she missed.
Memories, she misses.
..but God, He's always there..and as soon as you ask Him to help you make wise decisions or restore your aching heart, the pieces of the puzzle of life suddenly seem to realign.

Her mind was working overtime. It was time to rest and let God take control. The moment she tore down her wall of defence, God immediately reconnected her with people/places/activities that she needed.

Yeah, she made a mistake...but she's no longer cynical...and she never did forget how to L-O-V-E :)

Today I found myself
After searching all these years
And the man that I saw, he wasn't at all who I thought he'd be
I was lost when you found me here
And I was broken beyond repair
Then you came along and you sang your song over me...

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life.
--Deuteronomy 30:19-20