note to self: lookfor&buy sheet music in Msia...

I am desperately trying to get my hands on suju sheet music. dessssperately!

There is a 98% chance that i will not be in Melb come May, 2010...& i'm not talking short-term either.
I have narrowed down my options to:

• TESOL course 1 $1600
• TEFOL (120h) course $1200

...and i have yet to contact

• Camp Korea
• Snet
• i-to-i

...but i am totally jetting to Korea 2010 regardless. no jobs holding me down..no matter how many i've applied for..so why not?
Who knows? It might even be my calling. I mean, i told God that if i don't get any job offers...then...i would fly myself to Korea & teach english. lol.
soo...

this is it.
2 more assessments.

headdownthumbsup!

From Incheon-Seoul-Bandung, wait for meeeeee~

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Perpetual sorrow feels like a state of internalised suicide.
One must not give up but produce mental toughosity!! oh yeah!!!

ha!

yeah right...

In You, will i draw strength for i cannot continue based on my efforts alone.
If only i could release the well of tears kept hidden deep within. It would compliment the drought of our external environment, no? sigh

I do feel, however, that a slight crack might drown us all.
new series name: tsunami of tears..lol...
not funny...

Sadness does not enjoy company.
No..
sadness is my company.

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..if only.

if only i had put that littttllleee bit more effort into the poster. if only i had put a littttlllee more thought into my design response. if only i hadn't listed to H and changed my original design so there was less road reserve and more open space. oh well...i suppose those with industry experience don't always know best.

if there is one thing i have learnt, you MUST listen carefully to your authorities. ultimately, they are the one with the power to grade you well (regardless of subjective standards).

...hmmm...

i spent a lot of time editing that poster. i'm pretty sure i'll be spending a lot moreee time editing this report. considering there is hardly any time left, i'm a little concerned...where do i draw the line from retouching people's grammar to completely changing their original work?

-_-;;

Dear God, i know i am no longer able to graduate with first class honours but i do hope to at least finish these final subjects with a minimum of 80.
thank you!

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.....ottoke?

God, only with your help can i/we do well in this project...i can't seem to do any work on it...please help!

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i think...
i am on the brink..
of crying...


my final yr research project is in shambles..

...

..or so it appears.

this is gay!

neither my research partner nor i have adequate data....

....

sheeeshkebab. i'm hungry..lol

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ughhhhhhhhh!!

note to self: quit being an alchi and stop chugging down beers + mixed drinks...
not doing the bigbelly any good!!

DETOXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!

Dreamt of Jay again. No idea what on earth would possess my brain to obsess over him...Out of all the 2pm boys, he is NO WAY my ideal pick...nawww...i do feel sorry for him though. Poor Jay...
Can't believe i dreamt he'd become my guy-bestie....LOL!! what the? I suppose i do need a new guy-bestie...haven't had a brother figure for quite a while now heeh..

I have a big face. I don't like having a big face. It makes me appear fatter than what i really am...well, at least now my body is starting to match my face...that is SOOOOoo not a good thing!

pooooooooooohhhhh~

eep! I can't finish my work without God's help...PLZ HELP ME DO WELL GOD!!! Oh, and i would really love a job next year. Thanks, sweet! <3

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"you have really good grades," praised the tall one.

(inner thoughts: really? i thought they were pretty average...i suppose Geos aren't exactly academically inclined...)



ladidadidadida...............

GET TO WORK MISSY!!!!

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arghhh 2 weeks!

"wow, that is one big piece of salmon!"

I'm having a fat day.

"Can i buy you a drink?"

Are you from Korea?

"Want to make love? kenchanaya?"

oh?

"sorry about them, you girls have a good night"

such a nice girl.

"don't worry man, you've got her as your project partner. "

sorry, i don't think i can serve.

A little pressed for time.

"better get some sleep, stayed up the whole night."



TOO MUCH EXPECTATION, NOT ENOUGH DELIVERY! DON'T EXPECT MUCH FROM SOMEONE SO LITTLE plzzzzzzzzzz!!!

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doko ni yukebaii anata to hanarete
ima wa sugisatta toki ni toi kakete
nagasugita yoru ni tobidachi wo yume mita
ikoku no sora mitsumete
kodoku wo dakishimete
nagareru namida wo toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai anata no toiki wo kanjite

Dry your tears with love

Loneliness, your silent whisper
fills a river of tears through the night
Memory, you never let me cry
and you, you never said good-bye
Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost our dreams along the way
But I never thought
you'd trade your soul to the fates,
never thought you'd leave me alone

Time through the rain has set me free
Sands of time will keep your memory
Love everlasting fades away
Alive within your beatless heart

nagareru namida wo toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai kanashimi wo aoi bara ni kaete

nagareru namida wo toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai anata no toiki wo kanjite

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I once would have felt sad, detached, despirited, and angry.
I might have wailed, sulked, thrown a tantrum, and isolated myself..

but..

Do NOT forget to love people, pleaded WA.

Do NOT become cynical, he warned.

"mph..too late", she (secretly) smirked.

Inside, a part of her was dying. Her wallowing wall of self-pity was rebuilding; deflecting any forms of encouragement away. Slowly, she was regressing back to her former antagonist self. Never smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, thin enough, tall enough...nothing was ever good enough for the 'old' girl. To think that she let herself get fat, slow, irresponsible, and weak. She couldn't stand not being in control of her appearance. Aesthetics used to be such a huge part of her life and now, she couldn't even uphold a respectable 'front'.

No time to sleep. Too much to do and so little time.

"Rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead," --Doctor Who.

She forgot about God. Her choices were pushing her further away from God...and if you made enough decisions that were to take you away from God, you would have eventually stepped so far away from who you were supposed to be that you might not recognize yourself or like who you've become.

Relationships.

She always seemed to 'fail' at building lasting relationships. Somewhere along the way, she'd get scared and back-off. It was an instinctive behaviour of hers to shut-down when people got too close. Especially men. She'd been hurt too many times and heard it all before. Sick of excuses, prevention sounded better than the cure.

Sometimes, we all just need to escape.
People, she missed.
Memories, she misses.
..but God, He's always there..and as soon as you ask Him to help you make wise decisions or restore your aching heart, the pieces of the puzzle of life suddenly seem to realign.

Her mind was working overtime. It was time to rest and let God take control. The moment she tore down her wall of defence, God immediately reconnected her with people/places/activities that she needed.

Yeah, she made a mistake...but she's no longer cynical...and she never did forget how to L-O-V-E :)

Today I found myself
After searching all these years
And the man that I saw, he wasn't at all who I thought he'd be
I was lost when you found me here
And I was broken beyond repair
Then you came along and you sang your song over me...

---

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life.
--Deuteronomy 30:19-20

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